its almost 8pm on thursday evening hawaii time... this time i'm suppose to be drowning on my own sweat rolling with my friends but i didnt go. too lazy to go these days, just had my title match last friday though. but it doest seem to be the reason why i'm feeling like this. before my match i havent been training that much actually, didnt jog or anything... i just wanted to drop my wt then get wieghed and fight... i really never thought of getting the belt. all i wanted is to finish the job and get home take a shower and hope can sleep right away... for some reasons that i dont understand the favor went to me... i dont know if i am to feel happy that time, they handed the belt and thats it, i didnt even bother to wear it and take a pic. i just took it and handed it to my coach who is waiting very happy, more excited than me waiting on the side of the ring... went down and people are saying good job man, very nice, and all good things they could say... i just thanked them then headed to the back stage and changed. bagged my stuff and my so called belt and left to eat some food in mc donalds.
while i was there i was thinking about the most funny stupidest thing i've done in my life. damn... i feel good about it though... i call it a treat to myself that atleast after a decade i was able to talk to her before i left. said what i really longed to tell her... but but but, damn... its still stupidity... ok never mind... thats how life is anyway, make a mistake and learn from it! still funny... i really thought i was able to conquer myself
and face to face looking at her eyes told her that i really like her and i wanna work on it though i’m leaving half way around the world and be gone maybe for some time. she said few words though and i clearly understand that she knows there are a lot of things that could happen along the way and i know too anything could happen… and that we should not lock ourselves up especially me who is asking for a chance to her. i got that though… end bet is shes not waiting… but open to anything that would come along the way.
i promised that i would call her every week so i tried my best to call her every week and conversations went fine, just normal conversation… nothing much… well, we are nobody to each other… then came a time that not a single call was answered in a month and i just helped myself by saying maybe shes busy, school or something else… tried once in a while but not a single call can go through… she anwered one lately and i really wanted to tell her something but she asked me “didn’t u find anyone yet?”… and the question that came to my mind right away is, “did u?” but didn’t wait for an answer i don’t wanna hear it… i just told her, “u are always in my mind everyday” which is for some crazy reason that i don’t understand sometimes she just pop up in my mind and time seems to stop when it happens… and i diverted the conversation about her schooling, asked her if shes finishing and didn’t give definite answer… then we end up the call… but i know she really will graduate……… and suddenly shes engaged?????????????????? what??????? ??????????????????? then i came to think of a desperate move. called someone early in the morning that could give me a good info about her… she didn’t say much, she just told me shes with somebody… then i was thinking so if shes engaged then she must have been with the guy for long time??? and i said DAMN U ALVIN… u didn’t use that peanut brain of urs dog! if i am to remember it correctly she said be open to anything that could happen along the way which is i clearly understand… but there was one thing that i must have missed to stuck in my brain, she told me that guys are these and that and if they wanna play then lets get it on, lets play around… gurls can play around too… that’s not the exact words though but that the sense of it from my understanding if i got it correctly… and it just didn’t roll into my mind right away that moment coz maybe my emotion is at its height… and so that’s how stupid i was not asking her directly if shes with somebody or not… and did my my move!!! wrong move dog! don’t just rely on social networks… real lesson… this is not to justify my move but her friend asked me if i am courting her and one that made me a little sure that shes not with somnebody… well its just another lesson… one thing i could write on my dream book to write, “IDIOT’S GUIDE ON COURTING A L
ADY”
I remember one time that I cannot sleep and been calling a lot of people and came to think of calling her sister, we stumble on talking about her and she asked me, “R U courting her?” Yes I said… does she know? Of course, I told her…face to face, eye to eye… then she asked, so whats the rate? Pasado ba?(is it passing?) and I answered… 49%... then I laugh… not even half! we were laughing… and there is nothing to laugh about it now coz the possibility is far too less than .01%...
while i was there i was thinking about the most funny stupidest thing i've done in my life. damn... i feel good about it though... i call it a treat to myself that atleast after a decade i was able to talk to her before i left. said what i really longed to tell her... but but but, damn... its still stupidity... ok never mind... thats how life is anyway, make a mistake and learn from it! still funny... i really thought i was able to conquer myself
and face to face looking at her eyes told her that i really like her and i wanna work on it though i’m leaving half way around the world and be gone maybe for some time. she said few words though and i clearly understand that she knows there are a lot of things that could happen along the way and i know too anything could happen… and that we should not lock ourselves up especially me who is asking for a chance to her. i got that though… end bet is shes not waiting… but open to anything that would come along the way.
i promised that i would call her every week so i tried my best to call her every week and conversations went fine, just normal conversation… nothing much… well, we are nobody to each other… then came a time that not a single call was answered in a month and i just helped myself by saying maybe shes busy, school or something else… tried once in a while but not a single call can go through… she anwered one lately and i really wanted to tell her something but she asked me “didn’t u find anyone yet?”… and the question that came to my mind right away is, “did u?” but didn’t wait for an answer i don’t wanna hear it… i just told her, “u are always in my mind everyday” which is for some crazy reason that i don’t understand sometimes she just pop up in my mind and time seems to stop when it happens… and i diverted the conversation about her schooling, asked her if shes finishing and didn’t give definite answer… then we end up the call… but i know she really will graduate……… and suddenly shes engaged?????????????????? what??????? ??????????????????? then i came to think of a desperate move. called someone early in the morning that could give me a good info about her… she didn’t say much, she just told me shes with somebody… then i was thinking so if shes engaged then she must have been with the guy for long time??? and i said DAMN U ALVIN… u didn’t use that peanut brain of urs dog! if i am to remember it correctly she said be open to anything that could happen along the way which is i clearly understand… but there was one thing that i must have missed to stuck in my brain, she told me that guys are these and that and if they wanna play then lets get it on, lets play around… gurls can play around too… that’s not the exact words though but that the sense of it from my understanding if i got it correctly… and it just didn’t roll into my mind right away that moment coz maybe my emotion is at its height… and so that’s how stupid i was not asking her directly if shes with somebody or not… and did my my move!!! wrong move dog! don’t just rely on social networks… real lesson… this is not to justify my move but her friend asked me if i am courting her and one that made me a little sure that shes not with somnebody… well its just another lesson… one thing i could write on my dream book to write, “IDIOT’S GUIDE ON COURTING A L
ADY”I remember one time that I cannot sleep and been calling a lot of people and came to think of calling her sister, we stumble on talking about her and she asked me, “R U courting her?” Yes I said… does she know? Of course, I told her…face to face, eye to eye… then she asked, so whats the rate? Pasado ba?(is it passing?) and I answered… 49%... then I laugh… not even half! we were laughing… and there is nothing to laugh about it now coz the possibility is far too less than .01%...
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